RFC v West Ham review - The Independent

[Gordon Cumming's right ho]

Not sure if this should be in General Football as it is ostensibly about WHUFC and their preferred choice of automobile... but it does have a couple of cutting comments about RFC and an as yet unreported ironic witticism from Sir Steve...

The Nick Townsend Column: Baby, you can drive my Bentley - but only if we're still in the Premiership
Published: 07 January 2007
As a hush descended over his audience, Alan Curbishley puffed his cheeks, affected an insipid smile and attempted to find words to articulate that rare phenomenon for him. Humiliation. This was not a manager's typical post-match lament, one of mere disappointment with his players, frustration with officials or the attribution of defeat to ill fortune. This was something different after the West Ham manager had witnessed his team sleepwalk to ignominy.

What happened at the Madejski Stadium last Monday was a salutary warning to all those sportsmen inebriated with transient success; those who have been brushed with the paintwork of greatness, and believe that the protective coating thus created can never be chipped or damaged. It reaffirmed that though the Premiership is the domicile of the lustrous talent of Cristiano Ronaldo and Co, it is no haven for what the Match of the Day pundit Mark Lawrenson would refer to as "the Billy Big-timers".

Though Curbishley's demean-our conveyed many emotions, it was embarrassment and raw anger which combined to produce what amounted toridicule of his players; not just by comparing them directly with the opposition but in terms footballers fully understand. "They want to be in the Premiership," he said of the host team. "They want to drive the Baby Bentleys."

No, most of us at the Madej-ski in the aftermath of West Ham's six-goal trouncing were not immediately familiar with that ostentatious display of a footballer's progress either. Baby Bentley? A middle-aged Mondeo maybe. We are hardly in the market for what transpired to be a £110,000 Continental GT Coupé which boasts what the blurb des-cribes as "phenomenal power" and "class-leading performance". In essence, the antithesis of what Curbishley's men offered.

You don't often get a whole team suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder at set-pieces. It was not just the craven nature of the defeat but the fact that Curbishley's only ambition in the second half was to "stop it from being eight". True, last season Arsenal put seven past Middlesbrough, but then at least Steve McClaren's side were overwhelmed by the Thierry Henry-inspired class of the Gunners.

Here, you suspected it was the wrong team to meet at the wrong time. Perhaps against aristocrats, the Hammers would have raised their game. But against opposition containing Arsenal cast-offs and arrivistes from the lower leagues, they simply faded and died. Or, as the Israeli Yossi Benayoun reflected with brutal honesty: "We played like drunks".

Viewed positively, it may just have been the reveille the London side required. A fixture that could have receded into anony-mity may have become a defining moment in West Ham's season. Yet as Curbishley prepared to spend his new chairman Egg-ert Magnusson's reported £20 million-plus on reinforcements - with Fulham's captain, Luis Boa Morte, the first arrival - the manager would have been mindful that his team need to win possibly half their remaining matches to preserve their status.

At this time last year, Dean Ashton was the catalyst for an FA Cup sequence which culminated at the Millennium Stadium. This year, Curbishley requires characters strong of heart to deny the siren call of the Champion-ship. As the manager declared, the Premiership is "unforgiving".

"Some of those players have only done one-and-a-bit years. You need six years [a passing nod to his former club Charlton's presence among the elite] before you call yourself a Premiership player."

Instead, heads were turned. An open-topped bus ride? For finishing ninth, and being (albeit gallant) FA Cup losers? For some, like the captain, Nigel Reo-Coker, it was followed by flirtation with an international call-up and links with Manchester United. For others, flirtation with Page Three models was enough to confirm that they had arrived.

In fact, their journey had only just begun. As Curbishley suspected from the start, the Hammers overachieved last season, and by some measure. Self-belief propelled them as far as it did. But in doing so, some egos became saturated. That is inevit-ably a dangerous condition.

Too many players have been embracing the dream while failing to appreciate the unrelenting demands of continued Premiership existence. As West Ham began what is acknowledged as a vulnerable season, one following unexpected success, they were back-sliding as they continued to relish the back-slapping.

There remains, though, outside admiration for their players' quality; men such as Benayoun, Reo-Coker, Anton Ferdinand and the goalkeeper Robert Green. Recently, I asked Stuart Pearce about Alan Pardew's bequest of personnel to Curbishley. "I'd take at least eight of those players to come and work here," enthused the Manchester City manager.

From that perspective, hope persists. West Ham will always be a charismatic name, capable of enticing gifted performers. The self-styled "academy" has produced fine players for generations. But the club, and their players, need to be reminded that the Premiership has no respect for history or reputations.

Curbishley suggested that his Reading counterpart, Steve Coppell, may have to beware a similar "second-season syndrome". Not a chance. When someone tried to entice a "Nicky Shorey for England" line out of the stone-faced manager, there was a terse response. "He has recognition," Coppell said of his admirable left-back. "He plays for us every week - and that's all he needs." A few West Ham players may have benefited from a similar dose of realism last summer.

[Ian Herring]

As usual a media interest in West Ham despite them being a club that never achieves much. They remind me of a bad tourist attraction. Madame Toussaud's, The Tower of London. A lack-lustre 'institution' with some worn-out cliches to go with it. 'Academy of Football' etc. Even what'shisface Gavin Peacock on Match of the Day was trotting them out in his little documentary on the Hammers' cup game against Brighton (another club with some frightening self-deluding mythology [massive, massive!]) and using the phrase 'technique, perhaps West Ham technique' and 'local lad'. Oh that pearly king and queen Walford back to back 'during the waw-arr' mentality just you don't love it? Pie and mash. Etc.

Still, at least some reference that they were simply dicked by a better side on the day at the Mad Stad, and some allusion to the lesser egomaniacal culture held at Reading. In these days of sensationalist footie-porn and general journalistic laziness, something almost approaching the Premiershite equivalent of 'balance'.

The longer my club has no history and no culture all the better, as we continue the 'tradition' of beating our so called 'betters'. West Ham's media 'profile' seems and always will be a great deal bigger than their achievements. Like quite a few others in the so-called 'best league in the world'.

Thank God for the Royals and Steve Coppell.

[floyd__streete]

Post of the decade, Ian Herring and back to the top again as this deserves a wider audience.

[phil in cornwall]

Is the Mark Lawrenson mentioned in the article related in any way to Lawro who predicted on the BBC website that Reading v West Ham would be a 1 - 1 draw?

[Pool and Darts]

Is the Mark Lawrenson mentioned in the article related in any way to Lawro who predicted on the BBC website that Reading v West Ham would be a 1 - 1 draw?

It is the same bloke, believe it or not!!

Also the one that said that we would go down with Sheff Utd, and Watford would stay up because they have the firepower to do so !

[Humanistic]

No, no...it was their 'young manager'!!

[strap]

Is the Mark Lawrenson mentioned in the article related in any way to Lawro who predicted on the BBC website that Reading v West Ham would be a 1 - 1 draw?

It is the same bloke, believe it or not!!

Also the one that said that we would go down with Sheff Utd, and Watford would stay up because they have the firepower to do so !

Sheff U would stay up becasue Brammell Lane would be a fortress and their home form would see them OK.
Watford would stay up becasue they had a fine up and coming manager.

RFC would go straight back down as we had signed nobody and we would struggle to score goals whilst shipping them at the back.

AND this tw@t gets PAID for this "insight"???

[Gordons Cumming]

Is the Mark Lawrenson mentioned in the article related in any way to Lawro who predicted on the BBC website that Reading v West Ham would be a 1 - 1 draw?

It is the same bloke, believe it or not!!

Also the one that said that we would go down with Sheff Utd, and Watford would stay up because they have the firepower to do so !

Sheff U would stay up becasue Brammell Lane would be a fortress and their home form would see them OK.
Watford would stay up becasue they had a fine up and coming manager.

RFC would go straight back down as we had signed nobody and we would struggle to score goals whilst shipping them at the back.

AND this tw@t gets PAID for this "insight"???

..........but did anyone of us think he'd be so far of the mark?

[glass half full]

Is the Mark Lawrenson mentioned in the article related in any way to Lawro who predicted on the BBC website that Reading v West Ham would be a 1 - 1 draw?

It is the same bloke, believe it or not!!

Also the one that said that we would go down with Sheff Utd, and Watford would stay up because they have the firepower to do so !

Sheff U would stay up becasue Brammell Lane would be a fortress and their home form would see them OK.
Watford would stay up becasue they had a fine up and coming manager.

RFC would go straight back down as we had signed nobody and we would struggle to score goals whilst shipping them at the back.

AND this tw@t gets PAID for this "insight"???

..........but did anyone of us think he'd be so far of the mark?

Yes!

[Ian Royal]

We knew he was talking toss about Sheff U and Watford. We knew we would be underestimated, though we could only have hoped secretly that we'd have performed like this.

[handbags_harris]

As usual a media interest in West Ham despite them being a club that never achieves much. They remind me of a bad tourist attraction. Madame Toussaud's, The Tower of London. A lack-lustre 'institution' with some worn-out cliches to go with it. 'Academy of Football' etc. Even what'shisface Gavin Peacock on Match of the Day was trotting them out in his little documentary on the Hammers' cup game against Brighton (another club with some frightening self-deluding mythology [massive, massive!]) and using the phrase 'technique, perhaps West Ham technique' and 'local lad'. Oh that pearly king and queen Walford back to back 'during the waw-arr' mentality just you don't love it? Pie and mash. Etc.

Still, at least some reference that they were simply dicked by a better side on the day at the Mad Stad, and some allusion to the lesser egomaniacal culture held at Reading. In these days of sensationalist footie-porn and general journalistic laziness, something almost approaching the Premiershite equivalent of 'balance'.

The longer my club has no history and no culture all the better, as we continue the 'tradition' of beating our so called 'betters'. West Ham's media 'profile' seems and always will be a great deal bigger than their achievements. Like quite a few others in the so-called 'best league in the world'.

Thank God for the Royals and Steve Coppell.

IH, that is an absolute gem of a post. It's the occasional post like that that brings many a poster back to HNA. It is a brilliantly put, well phrased argument about the level of publicity our small, unfashionable club gets (and yes, it is still small despite the delusions of some of my fellow RFC supporters). And I couldn't agree more with what you say.

[Ian Herring]

Glad there are similar thinkers in our ranks. There's just too much rubbish written and spoken about the consistently mediocre - not just in football these days but in most of life. It all seems to be about image and not about what is actually worked for or achieved. For crying out loud, I saw in the paper yesterday that that porcine imbecile Jade Goody had earned eight million pounds since appearing in Big Brother for the first time and described by the hack who wrote the piece as a 'genuine star'.

But then once you strip away the activity from the equation, you see it's exactly the same whether you're hoofing a ball around and wearing bling in your spare time, or volunteering your own imbecility for national consumption in a manufactured television programme. The fact that if you are 'fashionable' or not seems to be the qualifying factor.

But, as always, if the public tolerates it, by paying for the media that purveys it...and so on.

[International Royal]

As usual a media interest in West Ham despite them being a club that never achieves much. They remind me of a bad tourist attraction. Madame Toussaud's, The Tower of London. A lack-lustre 'institution' with some worn-out cliches to go with it. 'Academy of Football' etc. Even what'shisface Gavin Peacock on Match of the Day was trotting them out in his little documentary on the Hammers' cup game against Brighton (another club with some frightening self-deluding mythology [massive, massive!]) and using the phrase 'technique, perhaps West Ham technique' and 'local lad'. Oh that pearly king and queen Walford back to back 'during the waw-arr' mentality just you don't love it? Pie and mash. Etc.

Still, at least some reference that they were simply dicked by a better side on the day at the Mad Stad, and some allusion to the lesser egomaniacal culture held at Reading. In these days of sensationalist footie-porn and general journalistic laziness, something almost approaching the Premiershite equivalent of 'balance'.

The longer my club has no history and no culture all the better, as we continue the 'tradition' of beating our so called 'betters'. West Ham's media 'profile' seems and always will be a great deal bigger than their achievements. Like quite a few others in the so-called 'best league in the world'.

Thank God for the Royals and Steve Coppell.

Very good post.

I was on a aircraft all day Sunday so read every paper going. I can't remember which paper (a broadsheet) but there was an excellent article on Reading. The editorial line was the cost of the team that was put out to face West Ham and how could Reading do it in this day and age. The piece was very complimentary of Reading as a whole.

[phil in cornwall]

I was on a aircraft all day Sunday so read every paper going. I can't remember which paper (a broadsheet) but there was an excellent article on Reading. The editorial line was the cost of the team that was put out to face West Ham and how could Reading do it in this day and age. The piece was very complimentary of Reading as a whole.

It was probably the excellent ST article featured at http://hobnob.royals.org/forum/viewtopi ... highlight=

[SpaceCruiser]

The longer my club has no history

You write a good post, IH, but I disagree with this bit. Has Reading been recently formed? I'm sure we existed for 135 years.

[Stranded]

The longer my club has no history

You write a good post, IH, but I disagree with this bit. Has Reading been recently formed? I'm sure we existed for 135 years.

Oh Spacey, trust you to miss the point.

Yes we have history but we do not have "a history" in terms of how that is interpreted in football.

[SpaceCruiser]

The longer my club has no history

You write a good post, IH, but I disagree with this bit. Has Reading been recently formed? I'm sure we existed for 135 years.

Oh Spacey, trust you to miss the point.

Yes we have history but we do not have "a history" in terms of how that is interpreted in football.

I'm sorry, but that is bollocks.

[PlasticRoyale]

As usual a media interest in West Ham despite them being a club that never achieves much. They remind me of a bad tourist attraction. Madame Toussaud's, The Tower of London. A lack-lustre 'institution' with some worn-out cliches to go with it. 'Academy of Football' etc. Even what'shisface Gavin Peacock on Match of the Day was trotting them out in his little documentary on the Hammers' cup game against Brighton (another club with some frightening self-deluding mythology [massive, massive!]) and using the phrase 'technique, perhaps West Ham technique' and 'local lad'. Oh that pearly king and queen Walford back to back 'during the waw-arr' mentality just you don't love it? Pie and mash. Etc.

Still, at least some reference that they were simply dicked by a better side on the day at the Mad Stad, and some allusion to the lesser egomaniacal culture held at Reading. In these days of sensationalist footie-porn and general journalistic laziness, something almost approaching the Premiershite equivalent of 'balance'.

The longer my club has no history and no culture all the better, as we continue the 'tradition' of beating our so called 'betters'. West Ham's media 'profile' seems and always will be a great deal bigger than their achievements. Like quite a few others in the so-called 'best league in the world'.

Thank God for the Royals and Steve Coppell.

I'm gonna agree that this post is brilliant because it appears fashionable to do so

[Stranded]

The longer my club has no history

You write a good post, IH, but I disagree with this bit. Has Reading been recently formed? I'm sure we existed for 135 years.

Oh Spacey, trust you to miss the point.

Yes we have history but we do not have "a history" in terms of how that is interpreted in football.

I'm sorry, but that is bollocks.

Please explain why?

[SpaceCruiser]

The longer my club has no history

You write a good post, IH, but I disagree with this bit. Has Reading been recently formed? I'm sure we existed for 135 years.

Oh Spacey, trust you to miss the point.

Yes we have history but we do not have "a history" in terms of how that is interpreted in football.

I'm sorry, but that is bollocks.

Please explain why?

What is 135 years, if not history? History is not solely about silverware. History is about what has happened in the past and Reading's past is full of incidents. To say that Reading has no history is to ignore what Reading has been doing for 135 years.

Please find a better word than "history" to describe what you really do mean in "football terms".