Best One-Liners heard at a Reading Game

[I was there at Elm Park]

Three of four down at home to Ipswich at Elm Park in the 1990s.

Some guy on the Tilehurst End shouts: "Come on Quinny bring on some subs"

With which one guy replies: "We need more than just subs mate, we need the whole bloody navy to rescue this game"

[robb the royal]

Sheffield Wednesday a few years ago... can't remember when exactly, no doubt some one will inform me
we scored our 6th and chanted "we want 7, we want 7"
Sheffield Weds replied "we want 1, we want 1"

[It Is What It Is]

When whoever it was started the 'lets all do a Chelsea' with an improvised diving action which pretty much every reading fan did a few years back... was pretty wicked. Happy days :')

[Barry the bird boggler]

I remember a game a Palace one year, ref was warming up in front of the Reading fans and started chatting to someone and another fan leaned over the edge and offered him a tenner, which he laughingly declined....

[JC]

Many years ago at Elm Park it was the practice in those days to publish a brief pen picture of the referee. As they were part time they used to say what their full time job was. On this occasion the job description was manager of a Building Society. When the referee appeared the chant began "The referee's a Banker..."

[Sun Tzu]

I remember a game a Palace one year, ref was warming up in front of the Reading fans and started chatting to someone and another fan leaned over the edge and offered him a tenner, which he laughingly declined....

I'm fairly sure the ref was Graham Poll !

He was also greeted by a chorus of 'You're worse than Graham Poll'

[Bucks Dave]

Many many years ago at Elm Park we were playing a really awful game against Watford (how times change). After an hour of abject non football we scored and the guy next to me yelled "Class will tell, Watford".

[Big Ern]

A couple I remember

First , a home game against Charlton at Elm Park. Lee Boywer, recently back from a drugs ban, was greeted with chants of "Dodgy Urine"

Another game, at the Mad, cant remember who against, but someone shouted to the aged Ray Houghton, "Use Your Pace Ray"

Apart from that, it was not really a one liner, but the Opera Singer at a game against Man City at Maine Road some time back.

[tink]

Oldy but a goody "Rufus is a dog's name" to Richard Rufus when he was at charlton i think

And i don't know why but the chant of "emile heskey, emile heskey, emile heskey's f*cking sh*t" made me laugh last week, just for the pure simplicity of it

And not a reading game, but when on a tube in london last year, chelsea supporters returning from the spurs game were singing:

"We'll be running round Tottenham with our willy's hanging out,
We'll be running round Tottenham with our willy's hanging out,
We'll be running round Tottenham,
Running round Tottenham
Running round Tottenham with our willy's hanging out...
Singing I've got a foreskin haven't you
Singing i've got a foreskin haven't you...

[Big Foot]

And not a reading game, but when on a tube in london last year, chelsea supporters returning from the spurs game were singing:

"We'll be running round Tottenham with our willy's hanging out,
We'll be running round Tottenham with our willy's hanging out,
We'll be running round Tottenham,
Running round Tottenham
Running round Tottenham with our willy's hanging out...
Singing I've got a foreskin haven't you
Singing i've got a foreskin haven't you...

Not a one liner, nor Reading related or at a game.

FAIL

[The Cap]

tink wrote

Oldy but a goody "Rufus is a dog's name" to Richard Rufus when he was at charlton i think

Try QPR at Elm Park - evening game. Destroyed by the Southbank.

[tink]

tink wrote

Oldy but a goody "Rufus is a dog's name" to Richard Rufus when he was at charlton i think

Try QPR at Elm Park - evening game. Destroyed by the Southbank.

Could've been that game. It was definitely an EP moment. Which seems like an awful long time ago!

[Blue Blood]

Wigan away, cannot remember which year but it was Friday night and 1-1 with both goals in the first five minutes (Butler for us). Anyway, one Graham Murty comes on as sub after his lengthy absence due to injury since signing for us. Cue Reading fans singing "We thought you were dead...". Murts smiled at that and I think it was the start of the great rapport.

Wycombe Away, again cannot remember the year but 1-1 again (last minute Igoe equaliser). During the first half Caskey was (trying to) chase back and one fan was overhard to say; "He is deceptively slow, isn't he"

[Mr Angry]

Standing on the West Terrace in either 94 or 95 (I think) against a team (i suspect Derby) whose main striker was the only registered dwarf to play professional football, Paul Peschisolido; we had Shaka in goal.

Half-way through the first half, a high bouncing ball looks as if its going to be taken safely by Shaka, but Peschisolido decides he might, just might, be able to get a head on it before its gathered up but our rather imposing keeper......but he embarassingly fails to the amusement of the packed (!!!) West Terrace. He stands in front of Shaka, trying to block a trademark booming clearance up field; at this point, TBBM shouts "Give it up mate; Shaka's c*ck is bigger than you are!". Cue hysterics on the West Terrace, followed by a broad grin and a thumbs up by Shaka!

More recently, prior to us playing against Bolton in 2006/07, El Hadj Diouff (who was playing for them at the time) had been arrested and bailed for a domestic where (it was alleged) he decided to use his missus as a punch bag.

During the game, Sonko put in a fair, but crunching, challenge, leaving Mr Diouff crumpled on the turf; at that point, a certain individual ( ) shouts at the top of his voice "Is that how the wife was left after you beat her up?"..........just at the same moment as when there seemed to be no noise (I know, very typical of the Upper West....). The result was some exceedingly nasty glares from the Bolton Directors.

[Archie's penalty]

Who is TBBM?

[Forbury Lion]

probably this one from andy griffin

"...We gave Villa a real run for their money and we're playing attractive football...."

You must be yet another twat on here.

Keep your opinions to yourself please if they do not add anything to the thread. If you have something constructive to type then type it.

[Row Z Royal]

Who is TBBM?

See P1, dingus.

[Forbury Lion]

Walsall play off Final.

On the train home my Arsenal supporting mate (who went for the day out) was having a bit of banter with a few Walsall supporters and he said

"Where is Walsall anyway?"

They replied

"In the 1st Division mate"

End of Banter, Red face, me pi55ing myself. Classic!

You should have replied: "Not for very long though. What goes up comes down."

Too late, the game of word wits was already lost, to concede defeat graciously was the best option. Only continue if you have something wittier to say. In this case, not.

[Forbury Lion]

Pompey away, TBIFOM starts a chant of ginger people smell of p*ss.... not realising Steve Sidwell was sat in the stands a few seats along.


Also in the Lower West it's traditional for one bloke to shout at the opposition subs "Your not very good, your only a sub".... one time this was followed by a hasty "not you Harper" after Reading sub James Harper looked round.


Both annecdotes sound a bit crap now I've typed them out.

[Z175]

Best recent one Ive heard is a 3 liner form the bloke behind me at villa
1-0 - "thats not gonna be enough is it?"
2-0 - "still not going to be enough I'm telling you"
2-3 - "We're still in this!"